I am sharing this from a burden
pressing heavily in my heart concerning the come we stay marriages.
Young people, (and the not so
young), please avoid this at all costs as it gives the devil free reign in your
lives from that point on.
You see, the devil only looks for
the smallest of opportunities to maximize them for his own purposes which are
diametrically opposed to God’s purposes.
Let no one deceive you that there
is no problem since you are planning to get married ‘properly’ later. That is
the most fashionable lie the devil has created to keep believers in captivity.
Why break God’s laws to impress your peers? Whose approval do you really need?
And who tells you that the money you do not have to impress your peers will
come after you break God’s laws? Does it even matter what people think since
they will forget your impressions almost immediately or after a more
impressionable wedding?
What happens if the money refuses
to come in time? Will you wait until your illegitimate children finish their
schooling to give you a break to impress peers who will have outgrown those
childish tendencies?
Please obey God and avoid
fornication, and that even if you are planning to get married.
Let me give you a few scenarios I
have witnessed.
The man dies leaving a pregnant
girl destitute as nobody knows her and even those who know her decide to disown
her especially if the man had a job.
Probably they get a child who
develops very expensive medical conditions requiring assistance from friends.
People start wondering where a pregnancy came from since the girl was single
and it becomes very difficult to even look for assistance because you do not
know how to respond to those questions, especially from concerned friends.
Or the girl develops pregnancy
complications and they are at a loss to source for prayers since they won’t be
able to answer those questions.
The worst, however is when you
are teaching your children to obey God and they ask you why their birthday and
your wedding date are confusing yet you tell them you got saved as a youngster.
It does not pay. And it will
never pay for you.
Never give the devil this
opportunity. Never allow him to finish your testimony and life that easily.
And this also goes to pastors.
Why are you lowering the bar that
low so that you can get worldly status approval? Why load your young people
with a burden you are unable to bear had it been you? Is fornication a better
bargain than a simple and ‘cheap’ wedding?
I believe anybody can get married
with what they have.
I remember when I asked friends
to come help me plan my wedding I encountered some of this.
They suggested that since I was
famous (working in a big company, preacher, singer, guitarist), they should
organize a pre wedding party to raise money to plan a wedding befitting my
status.
I refused and told them that she
will be my wife and the money I had was enough to have the wedding.
Incidentally it was not much as there was something I had committed it to. But
it was enough.
I walked my wife from her place
to church yet I had enough friends I could have disturbed to give me a car to
do it.
You see, as a minister I needed
to set a standard. I needed to demonstrate to people that a simple wedding was
a possibility. And many young people in that church in the middle of nowhere
started getting married in church. My wedding was the first church wedding that
community I was ministering to had witnessed.
I recently attended a wedding
that was most impressive. The couple didn’t even have the money to the
government to be registered. But they told their pastor that they wanted to get
married right. The church therefore organized a simple but proper church
wedding where they were even given a church’s marriage certificate. They will
look for the government’s certificate when they have the resources.
That is what churches should be
doing instead of allowing sin to thrive in the name of fashionable and trendy
weddings.
Why show off success in Mammon’s
affairs by sacrificing God’s revelation? Why get into fornication just so that
you get time to legalize that sin much later? Shame on pastors buy into that
lie from hell!
Join your young people during
church services, prayer meetings and any other church meeting. Just ensure that
you have spent time with them and matured them to ensure they are getting into
marriage for the right and scriptural reasons. Of course it is extremely
difficult for someone to decide to go for a public wedding just for the fun of
getting married (or getting a resident sex partner). Yet cohabiting can result
from a simple crush. Make sure they are in God’s will and support them in that
decision. Stand with them against their families that insist on perpetuating sin
in the name of family status. Protect them against friends who think it is
normal to cohabit before getting married. And of course take a very tough stand
against the ones who fall the deceit of the world and decide against scriptural
counsel to get into fornication, whatever argument they may use.
You realize that this could be
the greatest stronghold against infidelity and divorce. Reporting to God far
outweighs reporting elsewhere first before reporting to God.