We live in an age that looks to trash all that God has said
and seeks to reverse all He has created. God is synonymous with order. We can
always know what He values by knowing what He says.
Look at the whole evolution debate. Looking at nature and
especially comparing it with nature documentaries it becomes evident that
creation and a Creator are never a consideration anywhere. The all pervading
‘reality’ is evolution as the explanation of nature. Yet do we realize that
this is indoctrination to our children against the truth and reality of God? We
are slowly sanitizing our children against God, His word and His standards. But
this is an aside.
I want us to look at the family in the eyes of God’s word. I
want us to examine common trends as they stand opposed to God’s revelation. I
want us to look at society as it relates to that revelation.
What is the role of a man in the family? What is the role of
the woman? Where does the buck stop as far as the family is concerned?
With all the psych about gender balance it is important to
look at what God says before we join the flood of rebellion in the name of
relevance. We like to say that one man with God is the majority yet are not
willing to be that man. I have said in another post that this is not an
accurate statement but I will leave that for another day. I am willing to stand
for what God says even if it stands in opposition to the whole world and its
systems.
As an example let us look at the homosexuality debate. God
calls it an abomination and history is replete with example after example of a
civilization after another not only deteriorating but completely dying or being
destroyed for entertaining that lifestyle.
Yet look at our generation. Even Bible translators are
scared to have that word appear in the Bible. Pastors are falling over
themselves to embrace what God can’t tolerate. Gospel singers feel they are
unfair if they don’t have one of them in their bands. In other words an
abomination has become such a hot potato that we would rather turn our backs on
God than appear intolerant of what God Himself can’t tolerate.
Let us also look at fornication. I am amazed at the church
that seems to be more concerned at what society dictates even when it is
directly opposed to what God, who we say we serve and are answerable to, has
revealed. Pastors are scared to confront fornication in their churches. I hear
some say that it is offensive since everybody does it anyway. How do they know
that unless they are also involved? Does it nullify God’s word? Does it change
the consequences of the sin? Does it cancel God’s qualifications? Why are we so
keen to give single mothers and their offspring (mark you not widows or victims
of rape) leadership positions in church?
A bastard shall not
enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation shall he
not enter into the congregation of the LORD (Deuteronomy 23:2)
A bastard is a child without a legal or legitimate father. A
mother who is not married to the father of her child makes the child a bastard.
Even a concubine raises a bastard as we see in Judges 9 and 11. It is a legal
marriage that raises children in a way that God approves.
Yet I think it is in marriage that God’s standard is sorely
needed as it is the disregarding of the same that is leading to all the chaos
we are presently dealing with.
God expects the man in a marriage to be the accounting
partner in the family. Nowhere in the scriptures do we see God asking any wife
to account for any decision or action in a family. In fact, in places where it
is evident that the cause was the woman, God asks the man.
God challenges and judges Adam yet the whole thing was
caused by Eve. We see Eli trying to correct his sons but he is the one who was
held responsible. Even Solomon was led astray by his wives yet he and not the
wives was judged. The clearest example is Ahab. He had no idea what Jezebel did
to acquire Naboth’s plot. Yet we see God speaking to him as if Jezebel did not
exist.
What does this mean? Simply that as the Bible says that the
husband is the head of his wife, he holds the absolute responsibility as to the
state of the home. The wife is clearly shielded in that responsibility. Since
questions on the family are directed to man by the Creator, is it logical to
share responsibilities for the decisions? If the buck stops with you, will you
entertain discussion and democracy when you know none of the other partners are
accountable?
Simply put the man is the spiritual head of any home whether
he realizes it or not. He is the head whether he has been raised by a single
and bitter mother or not. He is whether he is taught so or not. He simply is,
period.
One of the greatest travesties of our generation is to refer
spiritual direction to the woman leaving the man to behave as the bank, and
only that. That is erroneous as she is not the spiritual head of the home. That
can be equated to giving your very good house girl responsibility for the lives
of your children. Though she might be even better than you the fact that they
are your children will make you appear a fool, as you will be. Reason being
that she can’t be asked any questions should anything go wrong. She will just
move on, or probably even teach one of your sons to marry her instead of going
on with school to be able to access part of your inheritance. No one will blame
her in the least because YOU are the one ultimately responsible for the state
of your family.
That is what I mean when I state what the Bible says, that
the husband is the head of the wife. The husband is the one God holds
responsible for the family, his wife included. And no wonder in the Bible there
are very few names of wives even of very prominent characters. We know the
apostles ministered with their wives (1 Corinthians 9: 5) yet we do not know
even the name of one of them. The same goes with the prophets and kings.
This does not mean that a woman is the lesser. It simply
places responsibility where it is. That is the reality everywhere. Suppose a
president invited you for lunch, will you expect him to literally cook or serve
you? Yet when giving credit will you will most likely not mention any of the
teams.
I don’t want us to delve into theological nitpicking at this
point. I just want us to realize that nowhere does the Bible call a wife the
spiritual leader, or the leading partner in the marriage. At no time do we see
God passing judgment or issuing a command to a married woman that excluded her
husband’s authority in fact in the Torah a wife’s commitment to God had the
condition of a husband’s approval to be accepted.
If a woman also vow a
vow unto the LORD, and bind herself by a bond … if she had at all an husband,
when she vowed, or uttered ought out of her lips, wherewith she bound her soul;
And her husband heard it, and held his peace at her in the day that he heard
it: then her vows shall stand, and her bonds wherewith she bound her soul shall
stand. But if her husband disallowed her on the day that he heard it; then he
shall make her vow which she vowed, and that which she uttered with her lips,
wherewith she bound her soul, of none effect: and the LORD shall forgive her.
But every vow of a widow, and of her that is divorced, wherewith they have
bound their souls, shall stand against her (Numbers 30: 3, 6 – 9)
That is the plain teaching of the Bible concerning the
authority figures in the home.
Do we realize that the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 was not
only hardworking but also entrepreneurial? Yet we see her husband sitting at
the city gates. What does he do? We are not told. But it is safe to assume part
of his responsibilities was going to possess those assets. You see most
transactions were done at the city gate. Yet we do not see her at any time
belittling her husband for idleness.
The fact that she appeared to be more hardworking did not
give her spiritual authority. That was vested in her husband and as a woman who
feared God she could not attempt to usurp that authority.
May we listen to God before we auction our whole generation
to the devil in the name of equal opportunity. Men please take your spiritual
responsibility seriously. Ladies, do not accept to marry a man because he has
this or that if you are not content that you will comfortably submit to his
spiritual authority. Do not accept a man who will leave his church for yours
just because he loves you. Let him give direction in spiritual matters that you
will admire. A yes man to his wife is a child in a man’s body. Avoid him faster
than you would a plague. He is sure to bring you enough issues for the rest of
your life.
Men please get to know God more passionately. A real man is
so submitted to God that anything else can get lost. A godly man will not be
threatened if he forgets some flimsy worldly days in the name of love. Love for
God should be the all-consuming passion in his life. Pleasing God is his number
one desire.
Falling short of that is the reason many marriages are
failing. This happens when a man is more sensitive to worldly standards that
God’s revelation.
God bless you
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