O foolish Galatians,
who hath bewitched you, that ye should not obey the truth, before whose eyes
Jesus Christ hath been evidently set forth, crucified among you? (Galatians
3:1)
Let us look at the church with a parent’s lens. It will help
us appreciate the reason we have the issues we see in the church today. That a
parent determines to a very huge extent how a child turns out is not in doubt.
The major reason is that the relationship between a child
and parent will set in motion a path (I may call it a rut) the child may be
unable to leave however hard he tries. That is the plain teaching of the Bible.
What do I mean? You may be wondering.
Do you know how hard it is to discipline a neighbor’s child,
however undisciplined he may be? Do you know how disconcerting it may be to
rebuke, even scold an adopted child?
Why is that?
The parental link is a loose one. And it is temporal however
permanent you may want it to be. Sad to say the step-child step-parent bond for
the most part fails due to that.
Your child on the other hand is yours and you made the
connection that leaves no gaps, no options. You can therefore beat him sore and
he won’t think of running away as he has no better place to run to. But it is
also because he is assured of love and concern; they know that however painful
it might be, it stems from love.
I have had a slight experience with an adopted son. And it was
not a pleasant one. There are things I really wanted to say or do but couldn’t as
I was not sure his past experiences enable him to handle the new things or
facts I was presenting. Their past injuries, probably neglect may have
predetermined them to be unable to receive my concern. There is a rebuke I may have
but am unsure they may be able to even recognize it as such or may think of it
as hatred.
You relate with them with gloves in your spiritual hands.
Because they may just choose to walk away from all your love and concern like
mine did without notice.
That is why discipleship is so important to spiritual growth.
You see, spiritual relationships are not much different. One’s level and depth
of involvement in the spiritual life of a believer determines their level of
intervention especially if something goes wrong.
It explains the reason very few pastors preach against sin.
They are scared their ‘flock’ will run away and look for another shepherd.
Another reason is that they really are not spiritual parents as they are not
interested in properly feeding in that flock.
If truth be told, they are just interested in the offerings
those sheep keep bringing. But even if we overlooked the offering expectation,
there is no real familial connection to warrant an open rebuke because the
pastor is just one of the people the believer meets in his journey of life. He
therefore has no spiritual ‘moral’ status to rebuke someone else’s child since
their connection consists of the sermons he preaches. His sacrifice is
therefore limited to the preparation of those sermons and nothing else.
That is the reason marriages are breaking all around us as
no congregant trusts his pastor with his intimate and deep issues since he was
never involved in their foundation. They do not trust you with their bosom matters.
They will only call you when they are celebrating this or the other as that is
what your sermons feed them on. Many pastors know their sheep has divorced from
the rumors. And he is not ashamed to be called their pastor!
I have heard pastors complaining that people are filling
other people’s offices (who are not employed as pastors) even as the pastors lie
idle. One actually made that complaint in a staff meeting. They think the title
pastor is all a person needs to approach someone for spiritual assistance. Some
pastors get frustrated when they realize that their secretary is more
spiritually sought than they are. They sometimes accuse their secretary of
sabotage or insubordination without realizing that someone will always go where
they are sure of getting the required assistance. It is therefore not strange
to find a gateman handling more spiritual issues than the pastor who has
employed him because he has a better father heart than his boss.
Why are churches so full of divorcees, single mothers and
women who call men dogs? The pastor supports them. And I mean what I have just
said.
Why does the Bible say that God hates divorce? It is simply
that, God hates divorce. This directly means that He loves it when marriages
are healing or healthy. That is God’s standard.
It therefore means that a pastor with God’s heart will seek
healing for all those breaking or broken marriages. He will lack sleep looking
for solutions for those relationships. And instead of preaching success and
breakthrough he will concentrate on healing for those relationships. Because he
seeks to deal with one thing he knows God hates.
Some talk of irreconcilable differences. What makes them so?
What have you done to decide they are such if the only word you have is from
one of the two parties? Has God told you? Has He told you He tried and failed
to restore the relationship? How much prayer have you invested in the healing?
A hurting person kicks very hard to prove to the world that
they are past the injury; and spiritual and emotional injury is even worse. They
may be acquiring this and the other to prove that they have moved beyond the
injury and especially to show the partner who was involved with the injury that
their departure was of no consequence. That show of success is a very thin
veneer to cover a very bleeding heart and spirit that only a genuine shepherd
can see.
That is why I am talking about a father’s heart. It is
because a good father can see beyond braggadocio to an injury being covered. And
it is because he is interested in the inner person as opposed to outside
manifestations. He is aware that those outside accomplishments are temporal and
have no capacity at all to offer real contentment or fulfillment. They are even
worse as they might divert someone’s focus from the eternal. Imagine your sheep
going to hell as you are applauding his earthly accomplishments!
The modern pastor is just a druggist specializing in pain
killing medication (spiritual). He is not much different from the
methamphetamines people take to dull their frustrations instead of facing them.
His teaching dulls people from their injuries, making them live in denial as if
the denial will make the issues disappear. Then they will start to pursue other
interests to fortify that denial.
When was the last time you saw a pastor introducing a couple
whose marriage he has helped restore? Have you even seen such an event in any
church you have attended? Does it mean that all broken marriages have
irreconcilable differences?
It is interesting, however, to find out that the hurting
will rarely run to a pastor without a father’s heart, even if he does not have
the title. It is just like with children who have a home with the best toys yet
will never run there in a crisis but will run to the one with a heart sober
enough to parent them.
Have you seen a pastor weeping for broken marriages in his
church? Have you seen a pastor in pain because his young people are not seeking
his blessing before starting to cohabit? Have you seen a pastor calling for a
fast to reverse the tide of breaking and broken marriages? Ever heard a pastor
threatening to resign if the leadership does not exhibit Christlikeness?
Remember Ezra?
This points to a pastor who is an employee instead of a
father. He is what Christ called the hireling. The state of his congregation does
not warrant his pain, however agonizing their hurt is.
I simply want to state that a father experiences more pain
than his hurting flock/ children.
That is what is lacking in the church today. Very few
pastors have any empathy for their congregation. Their pain does not affect the
pastor, unless it is those with resources to pamper him. And it lacks because
very few pastors are interested in parenting their flock. That is why nowadays
the only ‘sin’ warranting excommunication is disagreeing with the pastor or his
leadership.
Paul could write those tough words because he was not scared
the church could desert. And we see the same when we read his letters to the
Corinthians and many other letters. He was writing as a father to churches he
not only preached the Gospel to but was also involved in their discipleship.
His position of authority over them was therefore not under any threat.
Another thing I will add is that a father is not a crisis
handler. He sees ahead of time and therefore prepares the child to avoid danger
ahead.
As an example, no failed marriage failed after the wedding.
The grounds for the failure were laid much earlier, in the betrothment and the
courtship and the preparation for the wedding. It many times starts with the
company the two kept and their views on marriage. And of course the foundation
was laid in the kind of marriage their parents had.
A good father (pastor) will therefore be more interested in
the preparation for the marriage than he will be in the wedding ceremony. Some
wedding ceremonies are the foundation for failed marriages for the simple
reason that they elevate the event way above the relationship.
It therefore means that a godly pastor will ensure that the
relationships of the people under his watch are real and healthy. That display
for this or the other is minimized, if not killed altogether as it has a
capacity of diverting attention from the real important issues.
Again this is what discipleship is and does.
And they continued
stedfastly in the apostles' doctrine and fellowship, and in breaking of bread,
and in prayers. (Acts 2:42)
Instruction is a must, instruction on the scriptures. The
youth will not be left to wander in the maze of relationships without fatherly
(pastoral) instruction as it is a sure recipe for failed marriages.
This is just one aspect I have dealt with. Suppose pastors
would ask God to give them His heart for His flock. Will they look at His flock
in the same way?
I have not even touched on the hurting, especially the ones
whose hurt or shame drove away and the fact that a father will look for them
wherever they may have gone hiding. Again as a father he will spare no cost to
restore. That is the plain teaching of the Bible. That is one reason David was
elevated from shepherding sheep to reigning over God’s heritage. I remember
reading the story of a father who became ‘homeless’ on the streets to be able
to reach and rescue his drug addicted daughter.
A Biblically persuaded pastor will not only weep for the
hurts of those he shepherds. He will actively seek those who even think they
are beyond rescue. He will go to the dumpsters to rescue sheep that have sunk
that low and have no capacity to even imagine rescue is possible.
Like Christ said, a pastor with His heart will not seek the
healthy, but seek the sick to bring them Christ’s healing.
What kind of pastor are you? What kind of pastor shepherds
you?
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