The ‘Papa’ Folly

And call no man your father upon the earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven. (Matthew 23:9)

I want us to look at this trend disturbing church and ministry lately; that of calling ministers dad, and even mum. And I want us to examine the reason Christ Himself forbid it.

Let me state before saying anything else that those fond of either calling or being called so are spiritual leeches, each feeding on the other. One is feeding on undue and undeserved authority the title father offers while the other is feeding on the cover the fool receiving the title has.

Let me explain. The ‘father’ is feeding on illegitimate authority, or authority derived from expanding his crib by adding innumerable babies to his family. As such he really has authority because his children are not growing and have him bottle feeding and changing them. They will never outgrow the nursery or they will know why Christ issued the commandment. His word therefore to these children is the law, as if from God Himself, however illegitimate it might be. The ‘children’ do not mind having a father because he will take responsibility of their soiling themselves again and again since which babe does not do it anyway?

As a father I understand that command very easily.

My firstborn is an adult and living independently. I therefore do not relate with him as I do with the others. He also does not look at me like the others do.

Would it not be a shame if he came all the way to ask me whether he should buy a shirt?

Though he honors me as his father, it would be ridiculous if he called me to ask whether he should go to sleep or what he should have for breakfast.

He still consults me on issues, but on a different level with his siblings. My authority over him, though it still exists, exists to give him wings to fly. The others will do what I tell them because they are still children directly under my watch.

A spiritual papa should grow his spiritual children to adulthood, connecting them to their common Father in heaven.

And I have innumerable spiritual children, some who run off to other papas when they realize that I will not slack down on their need to grow and become spiritual disciples. They run off when they realize that I will continue holding them accountable for their growth until they mature enough to become fathers themselves.

For when for the time ye ought to be teachers, ye have need that one teach you again which be the first principles of the oracles of God; and are become such as have need of milk, and not of strong meat. For every one that useth milk is unskilful in the word of righteousness: for he is a babe. (Hebrews 5: 12, 13)

These are the kind of people who love having papas all over. They are simply not willing to grow and take responsibility for their lives. They will therefore thrive under one papa or the other. And the papas are happy to have so many children that they do not care whether they are growing or not. And they have no time to know whether they are responsible believers or not. Having children is their all compassing reality.

Jesus command not to call anyone on earth father is indicative of the spiritual reality of discipleship.

You see, the Great Commission requires us to make nations Christ’s disciples and not our children. We may start with children but the end game is people who are answerable to Christ alone, not requiring our authority or permission.

And it is not much different in the physical realm. A parent is most proud when he is talking with his children more as equals as they have grown enough to control his estate even in better ways than he had done his whole life.

A father is never threatened because his children have broken through any ceiling placed their way even if the only ceiling he broke was taking them to school as an illiterate or removing his children from herding or farming to get an education he did not understand.

I was raised at a time when most parents were not educated. Yet it always amazes me hearing a father boasting to his age mates that he sold his land to take his children to school, some who have crossed oceans and even taken residence there yet he does not even have any chance of visiting them.

That is the spirit Christ expects us to have as spiritual parents. We are supposed to grow our spiritual children to the point they are connected enough to Christ to need our permission to thrive.

But probably a bigger reason we were forbidden to call anyone on earth father is because that father can fall as he is all too human. Or he may plateau in his spiritual journey thus placing a limitation on your growth.

Consider David and Saul. David was Saul’s son in more ways than one. But Saul had sinned and been rejected by God. Imagine what could have happened had David continued ‘papa’ing Saul instead of continuing his pursuit of God and His will?

Yet that is what many people choose to do when they think their significance and impact is tied with their hanging on their papa or mama. A son who continues insisting on hanging on my papa coattails is certainly a deficient son. Otherwise why do we frown on a son living with his parents in his adulthood? Or do we think it is different in the spiritual?

Let us go to the Bible and the closest I see with God’s expectation is Barnabas.

He rescues Paul from rejection and walks with him for a long time; exposing him to ministry until he attains his own status as an apostle. If that is not a father, we need to look for another definition.

Then he sees another young man needing his fatherhood. However, Paul will have nothing to do with the deserter and decides to go his own way and let Barnabas deal with another reject.

Now suppose Barnabas was like our present day papas? I suspect he could have given Paul a piece of his mind, probably cursing him in the process for not recognizing his office.

Yet what do we see? He doesn’t even seem to mind the harsh words his son throws as he rejects Mark. He just picks Mark and starts walking with him as he had walked with Paul.

Though we do not hear of Barnabas again, we read about the product of his fatherhood when we read the book of Mark. Look also at what Paul had to say about the reject.

Only Luke is with me. Take Mark, and bring him with thee: for he is profitable to me for the ministry. (2Timothy 4:11)

Theologians tell us that Mark was useful beyond Paul to even Peter. And of course he wrote the Gospel carrying his name.

We do not hear Paul and Mark mentioning Barnabas as their spiritual father anywhere in their writings. Yet he meets all the requirements of a spiritual father.

We do not parent for visibility of influence. We do it because that is Christ’s command. We parent so that God can have better children and not so that we can amass children.

There is no badge for the one who has the most children. God rewards those who faithfully make disciples for Him. In other words, He is excited by believers who raise responsible sons for him. It means raising children for myself goes contrary to His command.

The faster I release my spiritual children to be solely God’s children determines my effectiveness as God’s minister. The bigger the nursery I run determines the farther I am from the Great Commission.

It really is a shame that people who should be raising a third generation of spiritual children are still hanging on another papa. And they do not see anything wrong with it.

That is why I am saying that the papa folly feeds on itself. And it does not please God. Otherwise He could not have issued that command not to call anyone on earth father.

I know I am appearing heartless to some of you. But why do you think Christ issued that command?

I am sure you realize that He is not threatened when a man is called father. It is for our good and safety that He forbids it.

Let me demonstrate one of the things He seeks to protect us from.

There is a couple being charged with murder. The other day I read in one paper each father swearing about  the innocence of their child. And what was their argument? My child can never do that.

Of course they are not convicted as the case has just started and so I will not argue either way. But allow me to give other examples.

Have you seen ‘famous’ criminals on the police wanted list? Yet what are we always exposed to when they are gunned down?

Their families will start arguing their son’s innocence and police brutality, as if one can peacefully arrest an armed man. And it is the same when the tables are turned.

We will defend our children and parents irrespective of what they have done

Lay hands suddenly on no man, neither be partaker of other men's sins: keep thyself pure. (1Timothy 5:22)

Do you realize that this is the reason churches are more ashamed of sin being found out that pained about the sin itself? Fornication becomes sin when a pregnancy can’t be hidden. Even then it is the girl who is shelved from ministering with that evidence of sin. The man continues serving as he has no visible ‘blot’. And on the same line pastors can get away with anything as his totos will fight for him.

This is why I say that this papa nonsense feeds on itself and actually is an abomination to God.

I want to hear the responses of proponents of the papa doctrine, using scriptures of course.

I will repost abut fatherhood