Miserable Comforters

I also could speak as ye do: if your soul were in my soul's stead, I could heap up words against you, and shake mine head at you. (Job 16:4)

Have you ever felt so wise as to have just the right words for a situation? Have you been snubbed after offering such a timely word? Have you felt compelled to help someone with one word of wisdom because you felt that you understood their situation perfectly?

On the other side have you felt as if you had been literally slapped by some ‘wise’ counsel someone gave you when you were going through a situation? Have you ever felt so misunderstood as people provided solutions for your crisis? Have you felt that what people gave as a word in season was worse than pouring salt to a wound and more like pouring acid on it?

Well. You are not alone. You just need to study the book of Job to see the same so vividly.

Any time I go through the book of Job is a revelation to what ministry is and should be, though the amplification is on what it should not be. We can clearly see what a word in season should not contain, what wisdom does not produce.

Do you realize that Job’s three friends were giving him very wise counsel? Do you notice that most of what they were telling him is consistent with scripture? Do you realize that the crux of their argument was exactly what Job was affirming?

Then what was their problem? The wisdom they were spewing out was not relevant to Job’s situation. The diagnosis they were giving did not apply to Job. They prescription they were giving was not Job’s.

Simply saying, they were very right in their arguments, only that their arguments did not apply to Job. They were contextually off target.

You can compare it with a doctor accurately diagnosing gangrene in the right leg yet in his zeal to treat amputating the left leg. He did the right thing but it made the situation even worse.

Yet is that not what we many times are prone to do?

A friend tells you he does not have food in his house. Instead of listening to find out why you start advising him about why he needs to get a job, or even capital to start a business, implying that it is his laziness that has put him in that situation. You then wonder why he appears so hurt instead of appreciating your wise counsel. You later realize that he has been bedridden or in hospital for weeks from sickness or had just come out from the police cells after clearing himself of false accusations. You are a miserable comforter. But many times we do not even care to follow up on our advice.

God did not stop dishing out wisdom when he gave you. There are a ‘few’ other people who are also wise. The person you are advising may have an even greater reservoir than you have.

Job’s friends did not know about the conference in heaven. They did not know why Job was suffering. They just took out ‘scripture’ and applied it to the wound, something we are all prone to do.

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath (James 1:19)  

How do we stop being miserable comforters? How do we stop bruising people’s spirits with our ‘wisdom’? The first thing we need to do is realize that we do not have the key of knowledge. You see we say wisdom is applied knowledge. We need to make a decision to get more information before dishing out that wisdom. Let us wait at least until we are requested to give the counsel.

He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him. (Proverbs 18:13) 

But as people of faith we have an even greater responsibility. We must listen to what God says. You see only God knows the depths of the problem. Only God knew about the conference in heaven. And only God knows why this person has come to you and what they are hurting from. Dishing out advice without having heard from Him is most times prejudicial. Let God give you the word for the situation He has brought your way. Failure to do that may bring judgment your way.

The times I have really seen a great impact to my ministry have been times God has given a specific word to a person even before meeting them and I deliver the message. I have seen healing. I have seen transformation. I have seen relief. I have seen repentance.

Someone may be going through pain because they have sinned. Comforting them will make you a partner in their sins. They need to hurt before they repent. Psalm 32:3, 4 talks about that aspect of hurt.

That is why we MUST be in tune with God to effectively comfort.

Yet I will mention something that I think will contribute to judgment especially as it concerns ministers. God speaks to his ministers, or at least He seeks to speak to them. He does not speak what we many times think is the right thing. What would you have advised Isaiah when he was ordered to walk naked for three years? What counsel could you have given to Jonah when he was sent to Nineveh? What would be your response to Hosea getting married to a prostitute? What could you have told David when he decided to fight Goliath?

When we are handling ministers we should be careful to establish that the advice we are dishing comes from revelation and not common sense. Even rebukes should be given on revelation, unless the evidence is adequate and against clear sin. We can not trust ourselves to advice people who are in the employ of the source of all wisdom. Why do we think we have heard something for someone whose job description requires hearing from the source?

I am not saying that ministers can’t be given a word. I have always confessed that God speaks to me using many instruments. Many times I can hear God speak through my children. I have even heard Him speak through enemies of the cross. I am not saying that a minister is above hearing from other sources, only that his situation in some instances is peculiar and will require pointed direction.

The essence of comfort or encouragement is a clear word from God. We should be clear that the word we speak does not even originate from our experiences, however valid they may be. It is not safe even when it is coming from a previous word God spoke. It must be fresh from God to be relevant. God will speak to each person and situation uniquely and pointedly.

 I will repeat that Job’s three comforters were speaking perfect sense. Their point of wickedness was that their ‘truth’ did not apply to Job’s situation. They spoke rebuke when they ought to have spoken comfort, adding pain to injury. Though what they spoke and advised was true and even agrees with scripture, it was wickedness because it was aimed at the wrong target.

Therefore thus saith the LORD; Behold, I will cast thee from off the face of the earth: this year thou shalt die, because thou hast taught rebellion against the LORD. (Jeremiah 28:16)

Send to all them of the captivity, saying, Thus saith the LORD concerning Shemaiah the Nehelamite; Because that Shemaiah hath prophesied unto you, and I sent him not, and he caused you to trust in a lie: Therefore thus saith the LORD; Behold, I will punish Shemaiah the Nehelamite, and his seed: he shall not have a man to dwell among this people; neither shall he behold the good that I will do for my people, saith the LORD; because he hath taught rebellion against the LORD. (Jeremiah 29: 31, 32)

On the other hand we have someone who speaks peace when God expects a warning. That is similar to the watchman of Ezekiel 3 entertaining people instead of warning them of impeding danger. It might actually be worse because it gives people false security. Job’s friends hurt one person; the false prophet leads multitudes to hell and destruction.

And that is why I am sure God is incensed with all the motivation His people are receiving. This is because it is devoid of warning and rebuke. Women go to church naked but sermons are all about getting into the Promised Land without setting down the standards. Fornication and adultery is rampant yet we do not hear any message drawing the line as even some leaders are openly caught up in it. Trial marriages are on the rise but the motivation goes on without as much as noticing the sin. We are receiving ‘seed’ from corrupt deals and blessing the ‘cheerful givers’ without addressing their open sin which is even visible to the unsaved world.

All this points to the fact that we MUST hear clearly from God before speaking comfort or rebuke. We need clear direction from the throne before assuming the position of ambassadors of the throne. There are no two ways about it.

It is safe to maintain your silence instead of attracting judgment for speaking God’s word when you are not sure it is fresh from Him.

Job’s friends were rescued when Job prayed for them. You might not be that fortunate as you might break more than hearts with your ‘timely’ word and professional counsel.

You do not have to help or even advice. However, should you help or advice using your wisdom or experience please make sure that what you are doing is constructive. Don’t give to demean. Don’t advice to debase. Above all don’t limit your comfort to your experience. Allow God to use you in that ministry.

God richly bless you