Toxic Friendships

And Jehu the son of Hanani the seer went out to meet him, and said to king Jehoshaphat, Shouldest thou help the ungodly, and love them that hate the LORD? therefore is wrath upon thee from before the LORD. (2Chronicles 19:2)

I want us to look at friendship by exploring this godly king’s relationship with an ungodly neighbouring king, Ahab.

We do not need to state the fact that friendships are essential to human living and development.

It is also worth noting that even in evangelism and missions, relationships are a very key ingredient to their success or otherwise.

This means that we must develop some sort of relationships with the unreached, even enemies of the cross, for us to effectively reach them.

It is against that background that we are examining Jehoshaphat’s life choices and their fruit.

Neighbours must have relationships.

They will either be at war or in partnership.

An example is Israel’s relationship with the Philistines which was always full of conflict.

We also remember the beginning of the split between Judah and Israel when the Bible states that there was always war between Israel and Judah.

It must have been the thawing of that relationship that brought about this relationship.

When sworn enemies bury the hatchet, they will want to compensate for all the animosity they previously had.

I suspect that was the cause of what I want us to explore.

Cast in thy lot among us; let us all have one purse: (Proverbs 1: 14)

That is what we see with Jehoshaphat when asked whether he wants to join him in a war, twice. And not even a clear word from God through prophets is able to dissuade him from joining such a war.

Having one purse introduces a dynamic to any relationship, taking it beyond friendship to partnership.

You become one team with the ones you share a common purse with.

This means that they deserve our support, whether they request it or not, whether they are right or not.

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. (2Corinthians 6: 14 – 16)

Most people associate this verse only with marriage. But I believe it applies more to other partnerships that it does to marriage.

And that is not to say it doesn’t also apply to marriage.

You see, in marriage, the two become one flesh with one purpose. It is a oneness and not a partnership.

You yoke two separate animals to maximise on their individual strengths.

A yoke of oxen can handle more weight that the combined weight of two unyoked oxen. Yet they will require less food and water than two separate oxen.

But a yoke of oxen will require more training to be able to do a good job. A mismatched or mistrained yoke of oxen will cause more than double the damage.

But the main point in this message is that a yoked team must more or less think and plan in unison to be able to maximise on their strengths.

I am still talking about Jehoshaphat.

Do you realise where he went wrong so early in his life?

He yoked himself to an enemy of the God he loved and worshiped early in his life.

Due to that, were it not for God watching over His promise to David, that partnership could have wiped out his posterity. All because of an ‘innocent’ friendship!

Our friends will definitely influence our lives much more than we think or imagine.

That simple business partnership; that simple pooling of resources; that simple sharing of transport, has a huge impact on how our lives, even destinies shape out.

The background to one of my favourite verses makes it clear

For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to shew himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him. Herein thou hast done foolishly: therefore from henceforth thou shalt have wars. (2Chronicles 16:9)

This godly king had seen God when he had not ‘arrived’.

Then a small challenge comes when he can afford someone to fight his battles and he does what most of us would do. He uses his money to hire someone to fight his battles. He uses his team to win without a sweat.

Smart thinking. Or is it?

God calls it foolish and an invitation to war in his life. His effort at stopping a war became an invitation to unending war because it had brough about a toxic relationship.

Simply because that partnership, though to us it appears like just an exchange of money and services, extended to faith. He was simply paying a foreign god to fight for him.

Incidentally, many kings fell into that error when we study Kings and Chronicles.

What am I saying?

It is an open secret that many children start experimenting with sex and drugs with those young and innocent house girls and gardeners whose background was too poor to afford them an education.

Many children get exposed to pornography and homosexuality by family friends they look up to.

Amnon was innocent until his cousin opened his eyes and widened his horizons.

And this young man was on hand to assure David that only Amnon was dead.

This means he had all along walked with the knowledge of the planning of that assassination but did nothing about it, either to talk Absalom out of it or warn the king about it.

But he was a present friend in the palace.

Though it is not written, it is very possible he is the one who advised Adonijah to request for Abishag from Solomon because he looks that kind of person.

Pooling resources.

Friendship.

What is God telling you?