Hagar

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you. (John 15: 13 – 15)

Imagine that you have a great relationship with your employer, to the point that you are on first name terms.

Even your families connect seamlessly so that many people mistake you for family.

Do you think that this relationship is comparable to the one you have with a brother or even neighbour?

Of course not.

A slight slip and you will be jobless.

That relationship is dictated by your working relationship.

You lose it immediately you move to a new employer, or lag in your performance.

Or imagine this young man who shares a football passion with his father.

Then they start an argument over one or the other of their favourite team or player.

Then, in the heat of the moment, this young expert who spends more time in his passion forgets who he is arguing with and shouts

Stop being stupid and grow up

Do you think things will proceed as they had always done?

Again, we need to realise that their common passion has no bearing on their filial relationship.

I have, like most of us, always taken the verses above at their face value; that Christ is our bestie at all times irrespective of anything else.

But that is a fallacy.

Christ never calls every believer a friend.

We need to look at lordship to understand what this verse is teaching.

We start as His slaves and through faithful performance and transformation become friends.

And it is something that flows throughout the scriptures.

That is why I want us to start with Genesis.

I will start with the wrong example since that is what many of us are like.

Hagar was given an assignment by her mistress, bear a child for me because I appear to be barren.

That was a trust, an immense one. It was a huge promotion on her part since she was raised from a slave to being a partner in Abraham’s vision.

That is what got into her mind once she conceived.

She forgot what got her to that point in the first place

That mistake cost her everything. And her descendants are still fighting over it.

Her assumption lost her son the connection to the promise.

Compare that with Zilpah and Bilhah

They were given the same assignment and did it properly.

They did not fight for positions or recognition.

Yet what happened?

Their sons automatically became Israel’s sons without distinction.

And they were elevated to concubines, then wives.

That is what I am talking about.

Eleazar, Abraham’s slave, is another clear example. We know he was a foreigner who had risen through the ranks of his slavery that Abraham had considered him as the heir had Isaac not arrived.

Can you imagine Abraham entrusting him with the responsibility of looking for a wife for the son of the promise?

He was in charge of all the other slaves, and of all the wealth.

He therefore took everything and everyone he needed because it was all at his disposal

Another person to look at is Joseph and his progression

He serves with distinction as a slave that he is made the lord of the household.

Then he does the same in prison that he is again made the master of other prisoners.

No wonder he could be entrusted with running Egypt.

And even then, we do not see him getting above his position since he still requests the king’s permission even on things his position was legally allowed to do because they were personal just as he had earlier refused the attentions of Potipher’s wife.

Probably the best example of this is Moses.

He was so close to God that Israel did not know the difference between sinning against Moses and sinning against God.

He was so close to God that he would know when judgment had broken out even before God proclaimed it.

God Himself spoke out for Moses and their relationship when it was questioned, to the point of knocking out anyone talking or acting against His servant.

But Moses was the meekest person who ever lived.

He was totally submitted to God’s Lordship and that is clearest when we see him pleading with God to pardon Israel again and again.

God is the one who called Abraham His friend.

And we are able to see their relationship when he is pleading for Sodom, until God has mercy on Lot.

I hope you are getting the drift.

We do not graduate from slaves to friends by any fluke. We do not do it automatically.

In fact, not everybody gets there.

We gradually grow through it through our faithfulness, obedience, trust and submission.

Only a slave can transition through that process.

Any entitlement along the way will automatically disconnect us from our Lord as we have seen with Hagar and many others.

We do not deserve being friends. That is an element of grace we receive from the lord we serve.

Look also at the context of the verse.

The twelve had walked with Jesus, followed Him, run errands for Him and did everything He commanded without even seeking explanations.

That is what Jesus is saying in these verses.

You have demonstrated the fact that you can be My friends from our walk over these years.

But He says something else.

That does not close the case.

You must continue doing the same to continue being friends

Or what is the meaning of this?

Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. (John 15:14)

That position is an active position. It is a verb position.

Our justification is positional. Being called Christ’s friends is conditional.

This means that it is a temporal position that can be lost.

And it explains some passages we struggle with because they seem illogical when we look at our positional promises.

Marriages do not break because of infidelity or the amount of sin involved. Otherwise, we could not be having what are today called as open marriages.

Marriages collapse because of the Hagar syndrome, a breach of trust.

And an example is useful here

Imagine this couple that started their relationship as children, or as what is called childhood sweethearts.

When they get married, they decide to share everything in common; ATM PINs, internet and social media passwords, even confidential official secrets.

Now imagine with me that one morning the husband, who is the breadwinner, notices that his pen is missing.

He asks his wife whether she has seen it and she responds that he probably left it in the office.

He of course has many pens but she knows the pen he was asking about.

Later in the evening, he meets her brother with that same pen and of course is inquisitive about where he got it from.

Your wife gave me yesterday when I passed by your place.

That dollar item will have just broken that marriage.

If he does not love drama, he will take it like Joseph (Mary’s husband) had tried to do.

He will change the PINs and passwords. He will start hiding his documents.

In short, he will slowly lock her out of his life.

Is it because of that dollar item?

Of course not.

It is because of the level of the breach it demonstrated.

That is what Hagar demonstrates.

And that is why this lesson is so important for us today.

Becoming Christ’s friends demands continued diligence.

But it requires much more once we have been admitted into that prestigious position.

Once Hagar lost Sarah’s trust (the same trust that had got her into that position), she lost even her position as a servant.

Lest you think that the Bible is removed from common practice, I want to take us to African culture with the few or many communities I have been involved with.

A woman would realise that she was barren (like Sarah or Rachael) or had stopped bearing after one or two children.

She would then approach a girl to bear children for her

That girl’s position in the family would be prestigious because of the sacrifice involved.

She might later be allowed to become a legal wife and bear her own children.

That is a position that required immense trust as nobody but the closest family would associate her with the children she bore for her mistress.

And the same played out when it was the man who was impotent.

Breaching that confidence made someone the most worthless person in the community.

And that is where I want us to go.

Of course I must create the space for my most quoted verses. And I quote them because they have always been a dilemma for me

Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity. (Matthew 7: 21 – 23)

From what we have seen, these ministers were rightly in ministry but breached the trust bestowed on them.

Like Hagar, they were handed a trust but chose to abuse it in the course of carrying it out.

They were handed the friend badge but chose to use it for purposes other than what it was meant for.

And entitlement is many times at the fore of that breach

I deserve better for the sacrifices I have made.

Think of it this way

I left a good job in response to God’s call.

Then I think of the trajectory my life could have taken had God not ordered me out of that employment and its privileges.

Then I see my former colleagues driving good cars, owning their own property and basically living the good life when I am still living by faith, not knowing where my next meal is coming from.

Then I see my pastor friends, also living large through playing games of manipulation on their congregations to get anything they want.

I think that this is probably what Christ was calling me to and start playing games with my calling.

I will trash everything I had invested in in God’s eyes. And Christ will also trash me for the breach of the trust He had placed on me.

For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost, And have tasted the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come, If they shall fall away, to renew them again unto repentance; seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to an open shame. (Hebrews 6: 4 – 6)

That explains why repentance at that point is impossible.

Once I had been elevated to the point of friend, I am not just unfriended for that breach, I will lose even the servant position. Or do we not remember that Hagar was banished?

Remember Vashti? She did not just lose her queen position; she completely lost any contact with the king whose trust she had breached.

Or Haman in the same book. He also was not just demoted; he lost his life and posterity for that breach.

Saul lost everything, even posterity. It was only because of Jonathan’s spiritual connections that anyone in his posterity remained.

Jeroboam was wiped clean from the earth because he breached his assignment.

It is important that ministers consider this prayerfully because a breach of that friendship is fatal even beyond the grave, especially beyond the grave.

One indication that we are friends is the spiritual authority we wield and the favour we attract.

It is indicated by the fact that our word packs immense influence and has great impact.

You will know you have that badge when even your opponents and enemies must know your opinion on things and react very strongly even when that opinion was not directed to them.

A slip at that level is beyond catastrophic.

No wonder Jesus said of Judas that it had better for him that he was never born.

In closing allow me to state the fact that being friend does not vacate the slave position. It just adds prestige to it.

Forgetting that single fact is dangerous, too dangerous to imagine

Yet we always forget it

Eleazar was the boss according to Rebecca. But look at what he tells he when Isaac is spotted?

That is my lord.

In short, everything that gave me esteem was due to his trusting and sending me (even though it was not Isaac who had sent him).

Again, look at the apostles and you will see the same proclamation.

It is not us performing the miracles. It is not us sending ourselves.

We are just slaves.

You see the same when heaven is opened and John sees the glory the angels radiate and of course wants to pay reverence to

Don’t do that. I am just a servant like you

You may also remember that it is at that point that Lucifer fell.

He allowed his exalted position to get to his head (or is it heart?)

That is what we become when we allow that friend position get into our heads too.

When your prayers are so powerful that you must pray before anything serious is started and you start revelling in the bounty that accompanies it to the point that you think it is disrespect when somebody forgets or overlooks that largesse.

When you preach so well that a special seat must be made before you are invited to preach.

When your hand releases miracles that you must be flown by private jet so that it is not defiled or touched by the unworthy.

When your word is so powerful in fundraising that a percentage of the money must be yours even when it was meant to feed the hungry.

When your pen is so powerful that a forward to a book is more than the printing cost.

In short, when the focus of the ministry you are performing shifts even so slightly from the One who has called and equipped you, you have overstepped the friend position and become a Hagar of today.

And there is absolutely no repentance for that breach.

Let me summarise by saying this.

A slave is given orders.

A servant is given instructions.

A friend is given an assignment or vision.

And all are done by the same lord.

A slave has no voice.

A servant can ask for clarification.

A friend converses with the master.

The master barks at the slave.

He may at times shout to the servant.

But you may never hear his voice when he talks to the friend.

The slave and servant are many times ordered by other servants (the friends)

Only the master speaks to the friends.

I write all this to help us appreciate the immense privilege it is to be a friend to one’s master.

This is to make us understand why a breach at this point is irredeemable.

Even a slight slip can be dangerous as demonstrated by Moses when he was denied entry into the land of promise for something he did under intense pressure yet he had been consistently faithful for forty years