The Body Partnership

For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. (Ephesians 5:23)

We would be shocked if we saw a body without a head walking or doing anything else except being a corpse. Yet we seem keen to make that state of affairs not only acceptable but even popular in the spiritual.

But let us first describe the two.

What does the head have? What does the body have? What does the head do and what does the body do? Which functions can be interchanged between the two?

A head has the eyes, mouth, ears and nose and contains the brain.

The body has the largest surface area and also holds the vital organs. It has the legs and hands.

Due to that, the head is the one that makes decisions for the body. It sees where the body needs to go, what to hold. It is the one that knows where the body is through the sense of hearing and seeing.

The body’s major function is feeling; feeling the outside world and feeling through the vital organs it protects. But it is also the one that runs the working aspect for the head.

But a good body is the one that keeps a healthy balance between the functions of the two. For the feeling to make sense, the head must assess the stimuli and make relevant decisions to deal with it.

Leprosy kills the sense of feeling in the body. This means that the body can not feel pleasure or pain. When an injury is got, the head has no way to access it and so can make no decision concerning it. If an infection sets in it becomes impossible to know. This is what leads to the deformation and loss of limbs. This is a clear demonstration of a loss of coordination between the head and the body.

When we were learning welding, we would each be given some pieces of metal to weld together. Since each had his own cubicle with a welding machine and all other equipment, one would quickly weld his pieces together.

Since the pieces were so hot and there was so much time, we would wander in the workshop to look for other pieces to weld together reasoning that there must be some stray pieces somewhere.

Then one gets to a cubicle that a classmate has just left, for the same mission. The piece is still very hot but is as black as a cold one.

With excitement one would jump at that opportunity – just the kind of piece I was looking for!

The first thing you felt was the smell of roasting meat, even before feeling the pain from the heat!

But in a short while we knew just how to get pieces without roasting our fingers. This is the partnership I am talking about.

Those responsibilities are not interchangeable.

The primary responsibility of the head is decision making. This involves making use of all the senses it has and the consideration of each. It is therefore accountable for any decision that is made. It is accountable for the direction that is travelled. It is accountable for the speech that is given. The head cannot blame the body when it falls into a ditch. It cannot blame the body when it consumes poison.

Four of the five senses are located on the head. We use sight, smell, taste and hearing to get an accurate picture of our environment. We use touch (feeling) to assess the state of our environment. The senses on the head will help us know where we are while the body will give us a comfort quotient of the same.

Let us say I am walking on a street and notice people are running, I hear some noise and smell something unfamiliar. I know there must be danger around and so decide to look for refuge in a ditch or trench. In a short while I start feeling things crawling all around me. I will realize that though the danger I interpreted was real, the discomfort and danger my body is exposed to may be worse. The head must then make a decision as to which is a worse evil but even more look for more feasible options.

Maturity is the training of the whole body to maximize on the senses without compromising its goals. That is why in the past training of the body was important as a head might be excellent in all things yet deficient in its relation with the body. That is the reason we see a doctor teaching that smoking and drinking are damaging to the body and can present all the facts yet can’t be able to restrain himself from the same. That is why we see a preacher who preaches against sexual sin and has all the scriptural, social and medical dangers in black and white yet is not able to keep his feet from his neighbor’s wife.

The initiation was one such process. Since I went through it I will give some of the reasons men and women went through it. Since in the past young men were the defense of the tribe, they had to be trained for that function.

One such training was to increase the threshold of pain in the initiates. Most people in Kenya know that Meru men never cry but very few care to know why. The initiation process took from one to three months and in the past took place in the bush. The body was exposed to pain in increasing levels so that even tears knew when they should come out among other things. But it went beyond physical pain. One was trained to keep his head in all situations and especially be in control of his situation as he did so.

Why was that important? Defense necessitated wars for most part and war meant pain whether running after the enemy or from him apart from the actual fighting involving arrows and spears. It exposed one to excess of blood and disfigurement and death. One therefore required a healthy balance of action and emotions to be in charge of his situation.

Soldiers, athletes and sportspeople go through similar training though this leans more towards strength and endurance. But soldiers must also go through emotional pain threshold training to prepare for war. This is why it is possible for them to go knowing full well that they might die in the war yet having no problem with it.

Exposure to such trauma without proper training results in an unbalanced character. Some become overly emotional, making them break down haphazardly in the line of duty. Others like we say in Kimeru have their mercy nerve severed, making them worse than animals. This is why you hear of a doctor or nurse raping their patient instead or treating them. This is why you hear a duty policeman laughing and gloating over a victim of rape instead of looking for ways to shield her hurt from others. This is why we are seeing parents who can’t touch their children in discipline as if using the rod will kill them.

Preachers nowadays are teaching men about the necessity of them exposing their emotions, especially by crying. I call that RUBBISH. One has even made a movie and lessons with the title He-motions. He might even have produced a Bible with that title.

I want us to imagine an emotional fighter. How is he supposed to react after blowing the enemy’s head off and seeing the brains strewn all over? How about seeing an enemy with dismembered limbs screaming for help? Will he run to the assistance of this bleeding and screaming enemy or will he continue defending his homeland? What will he do when he is hurt and can barely move yet the war is going on?

The same thing is required when one is running a family. A man is supposed to see beyond the present to where the family he heads is going. That is why discipline is normally the forte of the man. This is because he is able to see beyond the pain of the rod. He is not supposed to be swayed by the screams of a child who feigns remorse to avoid the rod then later punish with so much anger to the point that the child mistakes it for hatred when he gets fed up with the theatrics. Some like us had a mother who was focused, but I think it is because we had an absent father and so grace was extended her way for that. A man was trained to wisely respond to the drip of the nagging wife without losing focus.

Initiation for the girl was different. We have narrowed initiation to the circumcision on both sexes without realizing that that was more of a certificate that one had completed the training.

Though I did not go through the girl initiation, it was common knowledge that an initiated woman made a better wife. In fact in the past lack of that made you unmarriageable. Since I was raised before the rites were done away with, I was able to hear some of the things that the girls may have been trained on during their initiation.

They must have been taught to respect their husbands on a very serious scale. They must have been taught put the children in their place. They must have learnt what to do with an unreasonable man without running back to her parents. They must have been taught how to keep a man at home. And they must also have been taught to keep their emotions in check. They must have been taught to keep the secrets of the family in the family instead of blurting them all over like some who are so foolish as to do the same on radio or TV. As I write this I remember this ‘Christian’ woman who opened a blog to plead with her ‘wayward’ husband to come back to her and spewing all their marital garbage on it. Like many who read the blog I was nauseated by what I read. If I were that man (whose complete details were posted, even telephone numbers) I doubt I would ever consider her as my wife again. It would have been better staying celibate.

Look at the Proverbs 31 woman and see the difference with the women of today. Though she was resourceful and investment conscious, going all over to get this or that, we do not see her husband humiliated like the men married to such women. The only thing we are told of the man doing is sitting in the city gates. But he is respected and not looked down upon by other men or children. The reason was that his wife elevated him to the place God had ordered. Most likely she sent him to do the transactions after she earned the money and had the property registered in his name. She certainly did not point to him as an idler to the children or society as a wise wife is secure enough in her role as wife to elevate herself by looking down on others to appear important.

In the past, when a man became wild and uncontrollable, the community just looked for a wife for him and this domesticated him. These ranged from womanizing to wastefulness to wandering. I know of a few that were domesticated in that way. And that not by ‘sitting on them’ as we see nowadays! These women were taught to maximize their man in such a way that he had no other place or person to desire than home. She must have been taught how to maximize her feelings to serve the interests of her family. In short she was taught how best to be a wife without threatening the authority of her husband. That is where the quote came from that if you married from particular tribes your marriage could be given a guarantee not to fail – because their girls were trained to be wives properly and not just circumcised. That is also the other reason why men from some tribes will never marry from other tribes apart from the ones with similar training. Also the same reason why girls from some tribes become a no go zone for many men.

This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. (Ephesians 5:32)

We know that Christ does His duties perfectly. We therefore can’t blame Him when we see a church that does not live right. We will pity the wife of a man who is too emotional to make logical decisions. Why is it becoming normal to condemn a man who becomes the head by calling him a chauvinist? On the same vein why does it appear normal when we see a church operating as if Christ went on a holiday and left it to fend for herself? Why do we have a church that behaves as if she is a widow or deserted wife? Why do we celebrate success when we see a church full of women with the few men being the leadership?

A church that fends for herself is not part of the body of Christ, however convinced they are of the fact. A wife who behaves as if her husband is a figure might use his name but that is as far as she goes when marriage is talked about. A wife who treats her husband as any other man is a prostitute whether she sleeps around or not. A wife who equates her husband with any other man falls in the same rut. A wife who treats her husband as only a provider is a harlot. A wife who thinks her husband’s words are suggestions should rethink her understanding of the word marriage. The body must correctly connect to the head for the said body to be complete and functional.

On the same vein a husband who thinks his wife is there to meet his sex urges is a sex tourist, whether she is the only one he sleeps with or not. A husband who thinks his wife exists to manage his household only is an exploiter. A husband who thinks of his wife only as the bearer of his children is totally misguided. A husband who leaves the spiritual direction, fervor and nurture to his wife should know that he is endangering the family. It is like letting the body walk with a blindfold as the body does not have eyes to know where it is going. His wife is a part of himself and he cannot exist without her. But he is the head and thus accountable to God for the spiritual direction that body takes.

Such misconceptions are the reason marriage is appearing as a very temporal union with divorce being taken as a solution to the chaos created by a misunderstanding of what a marriage is and entails.

Perez-Uzzah (2 Samuel 6) reminds us that the sincerity of our motive is no substitute to God’s revelation. We must therefore seek to know what the Lord says concerning His body to be that body.

God gave symbols to enable us to connect with Him. Many were given to enable us to transition from the worship we had before to the worship He desires. Symbols are similar to figures of speech in that they help us understand things that might be complicated or new to our comprehension.

The problem is when the symbols are elevated to the level of the object they were supposed to lead one to. Yet that is what happens most times. We think to worship the symbols instead of the object they point to which is disastrous as it is idol worship. It is like someone giving you a ride in his car and at the end of the journey you fall down to profusely thank that car and even pour some oil on it for all it has done for you. Israel did that more than once disastrously, the clearest being in 1 Samuel 4.

We then seek to preserve those symbols as our act of devotion. This will many times divert my attention from the object the symbol was created to point me to. Since the symbol has no power in itself just like an idol, it will need me to preserve it. I may eventually realize that the symbol is more predictable than the object as it is rigid and I can do anything around it. The symbol therefore becomes my sustenance as I become the priest in the same.

Self preservation was probably the overriding driver of the persecution of the church. And why was it so? Because the church was connecting people to a living relationship with God and this threatened the support of the people who lived on the support the symbols of that worship (temple and synagogues) got. We see the same with Demetrius (Acts 19: 25)

And it must be the reason why pastors are the normally greatest opponents of discipleship, even the ones who pride themselves with having the same as their pillar. It must be the reason they must make their own watered down discipleship materials so that they can determine the depth their people get to because it would be difficult if not altogether impossible to lord it over someone who has established a living and vital relationship with the King.

Jesus envisioned all His believers getting direct access to Him (John 1: 12). We pride ourselves with the doctrine of the priesthood of every believer but I know very few leaders love that as it may remove food from their mouths.

Imagine a church with a thousand of such believers? This church has allowed God to speak to them, individually and collectively. The pastor is not the coach. The pastor is not the prophet. The pastor has no exclusive rights to God. God speaks to all at all times. They are also obedient to His voice, again individually and collectively. The church becomes a collection of saints, each who can hear God’s voice and get His clear direction for their life.

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: (John 10:27)

Such a church does not need a pastor to listen to God for them. They do not need him to give them the latest releases from heaven. They do not need him to direct them into God’s will. They do not need him to show them God’s gifting and calling for their lives. They have all that and more.

Wherefore, brethren, look ye out among you seven men of honest report, full of the Holy Ghost and wisdom, whom we may appoint over this business. But we will give ourselves continually to prayer, and to the ministry of the word. (Acts 6: 3, 4)

The pastor’s main responsibility is prayer and the ministry of the word.

He is not the CEO of the church enterprise as most pastors have converted themselves to. He is not the missions’ director or supervisor as many pastors want their flock to think. He is not the societal or trade union activist as many pastors pride themselves of. He is not the travelling evangelist or evangelism expert as others believe themselves to be. He is not the main counselor as many are treated as. He is not the benevolence supervisor as many behave like.

All these are beneath his calling. In fact getting involved in the same is a clear breach of his calling and abuse of the pastoral office. But even worse is that he is not only stunting the growth of his church but is in actual fact castrating the membership to make sure that they do not grow and become effective. Then all spiritual authority will be revolving around him and to those next to him, meaning that all gifts for ministry will be centred on him because everybody will be needing his ministry. Then he will be all over ‘ministering’ because his membership is composed of spiritual eunuchs.

And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ: (Ephesians 4: 11, 12)

Again we see the same with respect to the five-fold ministry (sometimes called offices). Their main duty is preparing the saints to do ministry as opposed to doing the ministry themselves. Their ministry is making sure the whole church membership is involved in their individual ministries.

The church does not need to have a benevolence ministry for its members. It just needs the congregation to be connected to the heart of Christ. Members who are hearing Christ will connect their resources to the needs in their midst.

I believe that a church has all the needs of its membership cancelling each other. Like I always say, in a healthy church one’s need is another’s opportunity, something the pastor should make sure is happening in his church by stopping to look only for his own affairs. I also believe that God never concentrates too much on one person precisely because he wants us to operate as a body. My own observation is that people with vision or ideas lack the resources to implement the same whereas the others have the reverse problem; they have the resources but are at a loss as to what to do with them. I believe the function of the church leadership is to create a right environment for the partnership to occur.

But we are talking about ministry and the church membership. The reason a pastor is called is so that he can PRAY and TEACH GOD’S WORD so that the membership can do as much ministry as Christ calls them to. We see the same when we look at the Levites. They were called apart so that they concentrated on God so that they make Him known to Israel. They were not denied lands so that they make sure that Israel is disconnected to God so that they look up to them for revelation. They were called apart to enrich the experience of the rest by having nothing else to do apart from knowing God. Then they could guide the other’s worship in a greater way like we see in Ezra.

And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates. (Deuteronomy 6: 6 – 9)

The priests were to enhance the connection of an already connected community to its God and not replace it. This is the role of the pastor as I see it in the scriptures. A pastor who is indispensable is an abomination to God. A pastor whose faithful go on leave from church when he goes on leave has replaced God as the reason people come to church. A pastor whose revelation cannot be questioned has replaced the Bible with himself. A pastor whose congregation studies his sermons during their meetings should just ask God to kill him before he is eaten by worms like Herod was. A pastor whose salary (in fact a salary disqualifies one from being a minister) is five times higher than the lowest paid member of the church has ceased being the example Christ expects him to be. A pastor who stays in a palace while his staff and members live in the slums is not a pastor in my assessment, which is what I see when I read the Bible.

A pastor exists to ensure that each member of the body he leads has its own independent connection with the head, Christ. In the body he might be the equivalent of a heart which ensures that blood is taken to each and every part of the body so that the body in turn functions properly in total submission to the head’s leadership and direction. He does not cleanse the blood or direct it. He just makes sure that it is flowing. Mistaking himself with the head converts the body with a headless trunk incapable of doing anything for itself or anybody else, leave alone the head. I think that is why though we have a proliferation of churches and ministries the world over we have a declining impact of the church even in places that were predominantly Christian just a few years or decades ago.

In a marriage a pastor would be the equivalent of the union between the husband and wife. The richness of that union ensures that the head and body each do their respective functions by helping each know their uniqueness. He therefore ensures that the wife has a healthy submissive relationship with the husband so that the family is then able to grow and multiply as God designed.

(I will be continuing with this message later. I need your continued prayer to be clearly posting only what God teaches/ speaks to me. Please also pray for the release of resources to print the book I have compiled from messages I have posted on this blog from August to the first post of November as that is what I felt God wants done. I have already compiled and adjusted them into a book )