Vice Camouflaged

And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her. And Amnon was so vexed, that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon thought it hard for him to do any thing to her. (2Samuel 13:1, 2)

Then Amnon hated her exceedingly; so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her. And Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone. (2Samuel 13:15)

I want us to look at those times we might think we have the purest of motives when the opposite is the case. We will take this example though we could use others to get the message.

I heard about Amnon since my childhood especially in seminars where elders were teaching youngsters about relationships. This story is also a very key one in the True Love Waits presentation compared with the purity of Joseph’s relationship with Mary in the Gospels.

But we are not using this to speak about relationships. I want us to appreciate what Jeremiah said.

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? I the LORD search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings. (Jeremiah 17:9, 10)

We can display a godliness that is exemplary yet later sink into depravity when opportunity for sin comes around.

You see Amnon was actually sick and had lost considerable weight for his cousin to notice it. He was not feigning that sickness. He was actually sick from his love for his step sister. Any right thinking medical practitioner could have had no doubt that this young man was actually suffering physically.

I doubt that Amnon had diagnosed that as stemming from lust. Most probably it was his cousin who was rogue enough to bring about the short cut. I am sure that had he got someone more spiritually leaning to counsel with him the outcome could have been totally different. The fact that he was frustrated does not mean that he only wanted sex. I believe sex was what the devil used to shortcut his journey into virtue. His healthy desires were diverted by Abinadab for purely selfish gains. And that is what peer pressure is to most.

Very few people got involved in sex or drugs by scheming. Many times it is the result of a wiser friend who many times dared you to prove that you are a mature person. Or like Jonadab took advantage of your raging hormones to direct you into devilish shortcuts which for that seeking mind were legitimate. Many times it was the stories which were massively exaggerated that demonstrated their prowess and conquests in the areas they wanted you to experiment in. Many normal but foolish young people, who make up the majority, will become guinea pigs for the experience the wiser ones will create fictionally. Then the ones who burn their fingers will warn the Jonadabs on the risks to avoid.

I say foolish because I was once a teenager and the boys who had the juiciest stories of conquests and escapades about girls were normally the ones who feared girls and created stories to divert the attention from their inadequacies before girls at least in their own eyes. It is more like I have heard that the most men who are harassed by their own wives are the noisiest and the most troublesome in bars and other public places.

But let us get back to our topic. An opportunity is the thing that is able to expose the vice in us. For Amnon it started out with a friend and probably mentor creating that opportunity by opening his eyes to the possibilities for selfish gratification. Had that opening not been afforded it is very possible that the normal course of events may have ensued. He could have eventually gone to his father and requested that he be given his half sister in marriage like Tamar had seemed so sure of. His manipulative power was powerful as we see him convincing David about his crazy and weird request.  Then they could have been happily married.

Simply saying vice is the product of a desire getting met sooner than its required time. Had sex with Tamar come at the right time (in marriage), it could have been impossible for Amnon to have exhibited that much hatred as he did after the sudden gratification of his lust.

Again I am sure that his motives were initially good and healthy. It is the short cut that defiled them.

And this happens all the time. How many people who were bulwarks of virtue do we know who have been unable to resist the lure of money or sex? How many do we know who had exemplary prayer lives who have become excess gossips? Do we not hear of testimonies of people whose past appears impossible when we look at their present?

My argument is that these people were not all schemers who were desperate for those opportunities that they completely altered their lifestyles. I know there are some who scheme for those opportunities like a classmate who got ‘saved’ to be made a prefect because prefects enjoyed privileges from all corners in a school that was more like a prison than a learning institution. He later ‘backslid’ when his term ended. It is only that he had confided in me in advance that I was not shocked by his turnaround.

For the turning away of the simple shall slay them, and the prosperity of fools shall destroy them. But whoso hearkeneth unto me shall dwell safely, and shall be quiet from fear of evil. (Proverbs 1:32, 33)

Time is of essence when we are talking about character. Age is important when we are talking about dependability. This is because it is very rare to attain that age without confronting or being confronted by enough opportunities to expose the vice in us and overcoming it.

I was a singer and instrumentalist for enough years to understand why most people equate musical success with sexual promiscuity. And I can tell you with confidence that very few plan to sink there. The opportunities for sex fall on you almost magically and from all corners that it sometimes appears like slight to refuse to accede. It does not require effort on your side therefore to get a sexual partner. A lot more effort is needed to resist those sex favors and offers. No effort is required in acceding as some think it is a blessing to sleep with someone so blessed. It is a determined purpose and a clear and close leaning on grace that can take one past that season with the character unstained.

I sang in many choirs and can confirm what is commonly said that most are sex havens (at least when I sang). Standing out for Christ in that success is the exception. And that is why it is very important that singing groups (called worship teams nowadays) ought to have a few mature and unsoiled members to at least bring stability and sobriety to all these opportunities for vice.

I also trained and worked in the media and the situation is even worse because there is no name of Christ to hide under. I remember when I went for my first attachment and announced that I was saved they gaped at me. Then they asked me whether I knew the history of the media house which I didn’t. They then gave me three months to backslide.

Incidentally by the end of that attachment over half had backslidden. Before the course finished there were only three of us whose testimonies were acceptable.

A friend started reading news and liked it. Those times there were no cell phones and e-mail. He used to receive letters from all over the country, some which were crazy though very serious.

‘I am a virgin and you are the one who will break it’, was one common thread. One lady travelled from deep inside the bush and made sure that he slept with her. They called me to resolve the conflict that ensued. I had tried to protect him from sin but all those opportunities broke him. He eventually died.

I did not succeed against all this pollution because I was stronger than those who fell. I am sure God jealously guarded me and continues doing so because of the ministry He has invested in me. But my past was also ‘ignorant’ enough so that I did not see some of those opportunities and so was not disturbed. I was more or less raised in church with my mother and elder siblings being sold out to God. For me it was therefore easier to keep to the straight and narrow than stray. Many times I would understand the trap (call it opportunity) laid for me long after I had escaped. That kind of folly saved my testimony enough times as I would understand why a girl was behaving strangely long after the opportunity had passed.

But even the blatant opportunities came. I remember a girl who told me that God had ordered her to have sex with me for her salvation from I don’t remember what. I told her that if her salvation depended on my sinning she better prepares to die. And she died of AIDS about a year later. She was a very beautiful girl and I was still single for your information.

God guarded me and really kept me safe from all those opportunities for sin.

The thrust of what I am saying is that Christians do not plan to sin. Like Amnon it is vice that is offered an opportunity that in our lack of forward planning takes us down to the sin spiral.

Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God. (1John 3:9)

The devil just creates opportunities so that that seed remains buried, yet not in productive soil where it has a chance to sprout. He buries it in the desert where the barrenness simply wastes the seed.

But of greater importance to us is how one can avoid those pitfalls. What made Amnon prone to such a fall? Why do others not fall when similar opportunities arise?

The first is the right foundation in God. I have mentioned the fact that I was so green in things of the world that I was never disturbed by those opportunities because I never knew they existed. The right backdrop of our lives makes this possible. If the people who matter to me value godliness it will be very hard for me to value anything else.

For your obedience is come abroad unto all men. I am glad therefore on your behalf: but yet I would have you wise unto that which is good, and simple concerning evil. (Romans 16:19)

This concerns our children more than us because we have already done the mess if we were not exposed that way. This is therefore a challenge to parents to realize that children pick more from us than we teach them.

The second thing that can help us avoid those pitfalls is information. And the best information capable of doing it is Godly instruction.

I am sure that had Amnon realized the consequences of what he was doing it would have been very difficult if not impossible to entertain it.

You see the law decreed that he and his sister ought to have been stoned to death for that sin. I doubt he was that suicidal to attempt going that far. I am sure that was the advantage the devil capitalized on to make this young man sin.

But information is not adequate on its own to deter. The truth must be internalized for it to be of use as a deterrent. And that is what we see in the scriptures.

And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates. (Deuteronomy 6: 6 – 9)

I believe that lack of that is the reason Amnon was unable to deal with that challenge.

Why do I say so? You see as David’s first born he was born when David was constantly on the move running from Saul. It was therefore very difficult to instruct the children under those circumstances. When his father became the king, he was all of a sudden exposed to the good life, a life without limitations. And no wonder we see drama with all of David’s elder sons. That may have been the reason he overlooked all of them to pick on Solomon to take over from him.

We see the same thing when we look at the church.

And they continued stedfastly in the apostles' doctrine and fellowship, and in breaking of bread, and in prayers. (Acts 2:42)

Instruction was very important to the church that a huge percentage of the activities they were involved instruction.

Then the twelve called the multitude of the disciples unto them, and said, It is not reason that we should leave the word of God, and serve tables. (Acts 6:2)

Instruction was the number one duty of the apostles with the rest becoming consequential to it. And it was so because those were Christ’s instructions. No wonder the believers were called disciples long before they were called Christians.

Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen. (Matthew 28:19, 20)

That is the only thing that can insure us against these opportunities to sin. We internalize God’s word so that it provided ready defense against any attack of sin, however sneaky they approach.

Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee. (Psalm 119:11)

We are studying the scriptures to understand them. Then we memorize them to make them part of our thinking process. We can then live by a Biblical worldview because it is the view we have invested the premium on. Any friend who lives contrary to that is either a ministry or witnessing opportunity. Otherwise we wisely avoid them.

Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. (Psalm 1:1, 2)

But it does not stop there. It leads to the next thing, the thing that brings one closest to vice. It will lead away from self centredness and pride.

Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits. (Romans 12:16)

Eventually getting us closest to God’s heart as we take on the ministry Christ had.

The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, To preach the acceptable year of the Lord. (Luke 4:18, 19)

It would be very difficult to stray once you get to that path. Those are some of the other things that protected me.

But my assignment will not be complete if I do not mention popularity or fame amongst believers. I mentioned the same with respect to the secular media but I need to say that the same applies probably more in Christian media. Fame is a tool the devil has perfected to bring man down as it is the thing that brought him down.

Fame will bring you down whether you are leading worship or leading a denomination. But the devil does not want us to see it like that. He convinces us that all that visibility will increase our ministry effectiveness without telling us that it makes us idols in the eyes of men; idols that stand in the way of God’s ministry. And that worship will itself be so camouflaged so that you think it is ministry.

There is one quote I do not remember where I heard if from that will help us here.

Humility is such a delicate grace that when you think you have it then you don’t.

And that is what fame does to a minister. Fame fuels pride, a pride that in ministry is very craftily camouflaged as humility. Then it feeds on that to drag and probably drug us down to vice.

I am saddened when I hear ministers calling on their supporters to vote for them to win this or the other popularity contest all in the name of ministry because of these few reasons I have shared.

It would challenge us to learn from how Christ handled fame and popularity though He is the object of worship. Study the scriptures and you will realize that all the saints of old handled it the same way.